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slowmo
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| Joined: | Wed Sep 21st, 2005 |
| Location: | USA |
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Posted: Wed Jun 25th, 2008 16:19 |
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I've grown worse to the point that I can no longer do as much as I used to, and the care I require is overwhelming family, so I am considering hiring a personal assistant.
I envision someone who will visit me at my home for one or two afternoons per week, run errands such as shopping and picking up prescriptions, read to me, play cards, etc. At this time, I do NOT forsee needing the assistant to perform medical procedures.
I've never tried to find such an assistant before, so don't know the best approach. Lots of questions too. What's the going pay rate? Is it better to hire an individual or work through some sort of health care provider for the disabled? Are there tax issues associated with paying an assistant? Is there a decent way to determine a candidate's level of trustworthiness?
Experiences of others are most welcome. TIA
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Lyme? thyroid cancer joint pain 125D64 25D19 Ph1Oct05 Ph2Jan06 Ph3Mar07 25D<7(Nov07) levox TRcyto ranit neccessary:probio comf exp gngr MGcit indoors mostly NoIRs
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Joyful
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| Joined: | Sat Jun 9th, 2007 |
| Location: | USA |
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Posted: Wed Jun 25th, 2008 18:37 |
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I don't have experience in this, but it seems common sense would be to pick a trusted, discerning person you already know to assist you with the interviewing process. 
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Deb Grabetz
Support Team
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Posted: Thu Jun 26th, 2008 02:22 |
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Hi slow...
I think you are on the right track...my daughter owes us some money from a trip abroad that we loaned her. She is "paying" some of this back by coming over once a week and doing chores for me. We laughingly call her my personal assistant! It started out as light housework but now if there is anything else that I feel I can use help with, she takes it over for me. She has weeded my garden and planted flowers (I have been able to keep up the watering this year and probably would not have gotten flowers in had she not come to the rescue), she has done windows and has just finished pulling wallpaper down from my bathroom to redo. Before getting slammed with this illness, I have always kept busy, working, redecorating, traveling, gardening, projects, etc., so a big part of this goes away when we are ill...having my daughter around to do some of these things has really kept my morale up!
I think it has also taught me a lot about helping others when they are ill...it is the fatigue that seems to steal so much away from us with any kind of illness. Maybe I have learned a valuable lesson here in knowing what to do for someone when they are ill....and hope someday to be that well person able to help someone else!
I can vouch that this has been an incredible help for me because I try to keep up the daily things in our home but it is tough to do the extras. Emotionally it has been a huge help to get these extras done and seems to take a load off of me. It has worked here at our house....for sure! Hope you are able to find someone to help you also, I think you will be pleasantly surprised at how much this helps you! Deb
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Sarcoidosis/lungs, lymph,liver, GI, neuro, D12542, Ph17/07, MPh2 9/07, B12, cover up, NoIRs,return to work after 2 years off- 4/07D2511
5/09 D25<4
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k
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| Joined: | Fri Aug 10th, 2007 |
| Location: | Australia |
| Posts: | 125 |
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Posted: Thu Jun 26th, 2008 06:46 |
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Slowmo,
I think that is an eminently sensible idea. It is what lots of people with chronic health conditions and/or disabilities (the two often go together!) and the frail aged tend to do. In Australia (or the state of Victoria at least) they are called 'carers', 'personal carers', 'personal care assistant' and similar versions of these terms.
When I was in university I worked as one of these. I worked with people with all different capacities. Some people it was more of a social thing, go to the movies. Others it was helping with washing/bathing, going to the toilet, dressing etc. And everything in between.
I have no doubt that a similar industry would exist in the USA. But how to choose one etc I have no idea. I was employed by a company and then they would match me to a client. Often there was a meeting with the client or trial run to see how we got along (obviously it's quite a personal thing and as the client, you want to be comfortable with the person who is assisting you). I wonder if there is some government body or non-government organisation / support group for people with disabilities etc who could point you in the right direction? (I know in my case, since my 'diagonsis' is CFS/ME, I could go to the local support group for that for some information or direction, or my local social welfare office). If you can go through some kind of company, I imagine that would be preferable, because I assume they would screen the applicants (e.g. I went through police checks, and referee checks etc).
Anyway, good luck! I'm sure it will be a great help to you to have some assistance.
All the best,
k
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ME/CFS severe menorrhagia & dysmenorrhoea anxiety depression paxil hydralazine Ph1Oct07 25D50Jul07 25D23Oct07 25D13Jan08 NoIRs cover-up low lux home lite exp r/t to work Ph2Feb08
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eClaire
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| Joined: | Mon Sep 25th, 2006 |
| Location: | Virginia USA |
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Posted: Thu Jun 26th, 2008 06:49 |
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I am looking for similar help, but cannot afford to pay someone and so I am trying to find someone to move in with me to perform services in exchange for rent free living.
Anyone else with this experience or ideas how to find someone, let me know.
Claire
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42mo on MP; CFS FMS MCS COPD hypermob IBS/GERD osteopor; 125D48 25D<4;
NoIRs during most daylight outings; Ph1.Dec06 * ModPh2.Jun07 * AbxBrk.Mar-May08
* Ph2.Oct-Nov08 * Ph1.Jan09 * Olm.alone.Jun10
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Michele MBK
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| Joined: | Fri Jan 4th, 2008 |
| Location: | Virginia USA |
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Posted: Thu Jun 26th, 2008 23:59 |
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Hi Claire,
How about a graduate student? It's probably too seasonal, but I thought I'd throw that out there. You have a beautiful home and are close to two universities! There's a new crop of master's and doctoral students coming into my program.
Or a young, new teacher in one of the local schools who may not be established yet.
If you need connections to administrators who may help you find someone in these venues let me know.
MicheleLast edited on Fri Jun 27th, 2008 00:02 by Michele MBK
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Lyme / RA 125D30 25D16 Advil / Vicodin or Celebrex low lux home NoIRS cover up Ph1May08 Ph2Sept08 May 09D25:6
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eClaire
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| Joined: | Mon Sep 25th, 2006 |
| Location: | Virginia USA |
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Posted: Fri Jun 27th, 2008 00:52 |
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Yes, Michele, I've thought about that (both graduate students and new faculty who might want to pay off loans or save for a mortgage) and sent an announcement to every professor I knew and even someone high up in administration.
Silly me, I forgot about you!!!!! Will send you the announcement!!!
Thanks for saying my home is beautiful. I couldn't very well say that in the announcement without looking like a bit of a loon, but you can say that to folk and be believed. I gave the guest bedroom furniture to Michele when she left, but I have no trouble replacing that if the person would prefer new furniture, as I'd like to redecorate that room to go with the rest of the house. Just waiting for the right person so I know what direction to go in. (I already have the furniture picked out.)
Sending that announcement to you right away!
Claire
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42mo on MP; CFS FMS MCS COPD hypermob IBS/GERD osteopor; 125D48 25D<4;
NoIRs during most daylight outings; Ph1.Dec06 * ModPh2.Jun07 * AbxBrk.Mar-May08
* Ph2.Oct-Nov08 * Ph1.Jan09 * Olm.alone.Jun10
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Michele MBK
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| Joined: | Fri Jan 4th, 2008 |
| Location: | Virginia USA |
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Posted: Fri Jun 27th, 2008 01:31 |
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Hi Claire,
I received your ad. I'll pass it on to whoever I think would have good judgement in finding a potential helper for you. I also thought of a newly graduated nurse. We know a wonderfully responsible young nurse who may be able to pass the ad around to others at RMH. If you haven't thought of it, you could contact your clinic contacts!
Michele
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Lyme / RA 125D30 25D16 Advil / Vicodin or Celebrex low lux home NoIRS cover up Ph1May08 Ph2Sept08 May 09D25:6
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rebeckah
Member
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Posted: Fri Jun 27th, 2008 23:30 |
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I have a home helper, I call them "my maid". I'm on disability & qualify for medicaide as well, and the home helper is through them? Not sure if it's federal or local, but it's with my local social worker, so maybe it's state run? They have an extremely good system in place for aiding the disabled at home. Your social worker evaluates your needs and assigns you a person. I was working with one organization that let me have someone new each week, since it's the only socializing I get, I can keep meeting new people. I was having problems with them not showing up sometimes, so recently switched to a new company which I like better. By company I mean co. that works thru the social worker's office/system. ugh. Brain fog. sorry. bear with me here.
Before this I looked in the phone book & hired someone thru there. That was too long ago to remember, other than they did a bad job. It's not a very glamorous job, so people don't seem to take it seriously, even if getting my groceries correct is very important to me!
My advice is be VERY specific (16oz small curd cottage cheese, Kroger brand) and make a grocery list. Yes, you do have to say
"Please check that the frozen cans of juice are not dented"
"Please buy the best fruit, not the bruised bananas"
"Please look for the best bargains"
Be sure to tell them No D supplementation and always full fat, full salt, "no diet crap" is how I put it, if that's your preference.
I also tell them I am NOT contagious, just to reassure them. Explain that you are sick (really,.. people don't seem to "get" that here...)  and because you're sick you don't always think straight.
Maybe people who live here are just stoopid, but one girl didn't know how to sweep a floor (front of the room to the back) she'd sweep random areas all over. I had to tell them HOW to do basic things. But, they don't know how I do all the little rituals in my life, and we never think about that until someone breaks the ritual by doing it wrong. SO, I have to explain I only clean with dawn and baking soda (so awesome!).
Try to find a helping agency specifically for the sick, because they have been strictly screened. As I found out through my company, taking advantage of or harming a disabled adult is a felony. So like, if they were to steal money from you they'd get in HUGE trouble with the feds! Thank God the govt. is on our side with that one. A regular maid service may not screen as tightly.
make a list of what you want done: Here's mine: get mail, groceries, take out trash, empty dishwasher, laundry, pay rent, sweep, mop, vacuum, clean.
They're usually VERY willing to do as much as they can for you to help out. It's their job, so more work for them=more money. I always end up doing too much instead of directing them. I'm too independant so having help is hard to accept, but I really love it. Grocery shopping is a biotch. It's been a huge learning experience to ask and recieve help. I suck at that.
& If you have MCS or allergies be sure to strongly emphasize NO perfume or smokers, and tell them why. I also specified female, no kids (germs). As they keep telling me I am the employer in this situation, so it's who I want, for whatever reason.
You can also hire 2 different services, like a molly-maids for cleaning and a helper for errands. ok, I'm worn out.
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Sarcoidosis/lungs 125D39 25D8 Ph1 Jan08 Ph2 May08 oxygen 24/7 famotidine omeprazole lo lux home NoIRs limited outings covered up
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eClaire
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| Joined: | Mon Sep 25th, 2006 |
| Location: | Virginia USA |
| Posts: | 1417 |
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Posted: Fri Jun 27th, 2008 23:36 |
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| I am so glad you have that system available to you. Locally, I've checked that out and all services I could get would have to be paid for by me. At 60, there would be more services available. However, I checked that out through the services for the aging. Perhaps, I'll contact the local community services board and the local social service department to see if there are any free services available to me. Even though I'm trying to live off of my social security and not disturb my limited savings, having worked for social services in the past, I think it is likely I'll have too much money in the bank, but it is worth a try. Thanks for the idea. Claire...
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42mo on MP; CFS FMS MCS COPD hypermob IBS/GERD osteopor; 125D48 25D<4;
NoIRs during most daylight outings; Ph1.Dec06 * ModPh2.Jun07 * AbxBrk.Mar-May08
* Ph2.Oct-Nov08 * Ph1.Jan09 * Olm.alone.Jun10
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rebeckah
Member
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Posted: Fri Jun 27th, 2008 23:51 |
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Sorry, I didn't answer any questions:
What's the going pay rate?
The independant co. was half minimum wage because it was volunteer helpers, but they were just horrible. If you're on disability you can get your DR to fill out a medical necessity form & once the govt is involved it's no cost to you, usually. There are orgs & advocates out there to help you with everything in life. Just ask.
Is it better to hire an individual or work through some sort of health care provider for the disabled?
the later screens out parolees & does background checks, etc. They're more supporitive if trouble occurs, or you want to switch people.
Are there tax issues associated with paying an assistant?
Yes, search irs.gov for domestic help tax laws.
Is there a decent way to determine a candidate's level of trustworthiness?
A background check. If hiring outright get their SS# and DL# and check online with your state for criminal records. Google. If they won't give you those #s be concerned. Give them a CC with a low balance or cash to pay for your groceries. Most ppl in the world are good, caring, honest folk, BUT.... I doubt you'd really want to pay someone to play cards with you, but I'd love that job! teehee
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Sarcoidosis/lungs 125D39 25D8 Ph1 Jan08 Ph2 May08 oxygen 24/7 famotidine omeprazole lo lux home NoIRs limited outings covered up
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eClaire
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| Joined: | Mon Sep 25th, 2006 |
| Location: | Virginia USA |
| Posts: | 1417 |
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Posted: Fri Jul 11th, 2008 01:21 |
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| Because I posted here earllier, I thought I'd tell you guys that an old friend of mine has decided to move clear across country to move in with me and do all the things that need to be done around the house while I get well on the MP. I've been blessed by and angel. Claire
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42mo on MP; CFS FMS MCS COPD hypermob IBS/GERD osteopor; 125D48 25D<4;
NoIRs during most daylight outings; Ph1.Dec06 * ModPh2.Jun07 * AbxBrk.Mar-May08
* Ph2.Oct-Nov08 * Ph1.Jan09 * Olm.alone.Jun10
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Deb Grabetz
Support Team
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Posted: Fri Jul 11th, 2008 11:29 |
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Claire, that is just about the best news
I've heard in a long time!
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Sarcoidosis/lungs, lymph,liver, GI, neuro, D12542, Ph17/07, MPh2 9/07, B12, cover up, NoIRs,return to work after 2 years off- 4/07D2511
5/09 D25<4
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Aunt Diana
Support Team
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Posted: Sat Jul 12th, 2008 13:12 |
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That's great news Claire.
A few months ago I called a few numbers from the classified section of our local paper under Home health services. It was not difficult to tell, simply by talking on the phone and asking some very basic questions, only one of the people I contacted was worth interviewing. When she arrived for her intervieiw she was on time, well put together, dressed in a nicely ironed nurses scrub uniform and brought her resume and references. Her first impression was of someone who took their job seriously and considers herself a "profesionnal". Her previous job had been for a wealthy woman who was suffering from dementia. She died several months ago, so this young woman is just now feeling ready to work again. She needed some time to grieve. She also didn't want another situation that was hopeless at the onset.
My husband and I were very surprised at the "high" calibre of the young woman. It seemed too good to be true. We have worked together now, for a few months and it has really turned into a wonderfully positive experience for all of us.
Having the help, just a few hours a day, is a lifesaver. She does our laundry, food shopping, will make us dinner and clean up after. She vacuums and other cleaniing as it is needed. She will also do nice little extras like fluff up my pillow and straighten my bed whenever I am not in it. I do not expect her to do my "heavy duty" housecleaning.
It turns out that she is going through some family changes, divorce etc., so we have been able to help her and have been able to give her some badly needed emotional support and have enabled her to make some big changes in her life, which seem to be for the better. It is a big relief to my husband also...to see me get some female companionship...as this young woman and I are now friends.
I know that this is probably an unusually good situation, but I am so glad I picked up the phone and dialed her number that day. I never thought things would work out so well.
I encourage others to try this....but of course to exercise caution. Saying no at the outset will save a lot of grief so screening on the telephone is very important. Having no one is better than having someone with problems or a bad attitude so it is very important to be careful and speak with the references provided.
As for the cost....it seemed to be pretty standard in our area at $15./hr. Since the going rate for a cleaning person is $20. I thought this rate was very fair.
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Lyme 1987, neuro cardio fatigue achiness brain fog depression, anxiety. Pacemaker, D.1,25 32; D <5; 12/07 <6, hydrocodone, lorazapam, , benedryl, zantac, colase, Noirs, cover-up or avoid sun, house <30lux
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JanEE
Member
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Posted: Sat Jul 12th, 2008 18:16 |
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Claire, what a perfect situation. Not only someone to help, but a friend, a true friend, and companion also. I'm really happy that this has happened for you.
I know your friend understands that you need help right now. And I know it doesn't make any difference, but is she also knowledgeable about the protocol?
Diana, you are also lucky to have found a new friend in your helper. And I think she is lucky to have found you also.
Sometimes, things do work out wonderfully. Two stories that give me the warm fuzzies today.
Warmly---and fuzzily,
Jan
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CFS, FM hypothyroid 125D69 Ph1 5/05 Armoir thyroid promethazine mag B12 for low blood levels NoIRs limited outings covered Ph2 9/06 Ph3 8/07 25D11
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eClaire
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| Joined: | Mon Sep 25th, 2006 |
| Location: | Virginia USA |
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Posted: Sat Jul 12th, 2008 20:05 |
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Thank you Jan.
My friend is learning about the protocol. When she arrives, she is planning to look at Amy's powerpoint about the basic science behind the MP on baceriality.com. And I will also pick out a few links from the MP site and then let her explore from there. She already has a copy of the food restrictions and knows about the light. Whereas my ex-partner thought she'd die without the light (at just the thought of it...I mean, my goodness it is no different than living anywhere in the Northern Hemisphere in the middle of winter...you go to work in the dark, you come home in the dark, you use lights to light your home), when I told my friend about this, she said, "Who cares? No big deal."
Diana, I'm glad too that you have found a friend in the personal assistant you hired. I have scheduled friend dates (once a month) with four friends so that I have at least one friend date each week (sometimes based on the calendar it works out to be none in one week and two in the next). The woman who cleans house for me is also a caring and insightful soul, and though she is working the whole time, we frequently gab during the non-noisy cleaning. So I get a friend "date" from her every two weeks. Between those friend dates and going to my neighbor's each week to watch Masterpiece Theater with them, I have about 11 friend dates a month, which is essential now that I am on my own (and not just for the hugs that are essential for physical and mental wellness!). (Not counting the fibro/cfs meeting and follow-up lunch each month).
I'll keep these friend dates going even after my friend arrives because I am in the process of developing new friends. That is, none of my friend dates are with people with whom I was more than "friendly" with before becoming disabled, and since nearly everyone walked away after I became disabled and these four were willing to walk toward me, I figure they are my base to begin building a social network again.
Best to all, Claire
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42mo on MP; CFS FMS MCS COPD hypermob IBS/GERD osteopor; 125D48 25D<4;
NoIRs during most daylight outings; Ph1.Dec06 * ModPh2.Jun07 * AbxBrk.Mar-May08
* Ph2.Oct-Nov08 * Ph1.Jan09 * Olm.alone.Jun10
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